


RK800 #313 248 317 - 51

by Zeona



Series: If Pain Exists In an Android, it is I [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: AU of an AU, Abuse, Aftermath, Android Racism, Angst, Confusion, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor centric, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized racism, Jealous Connor, Manipulation, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Missing Scene, Mostly Canon Compliant, On Hiatus, Poor Connor, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-05-26 18:39:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15006947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeona/pseuds/Zeona
Summary: What if everyone survives and Connor still is at a loss with himself?Why would he be though? And what is he really like?There have been Chinese translations of this work made byKnine: There is one onmtslash.netandkzijiu.lofter.com(On Hiatus for awhile, sorry! Will be back asap)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These are short little bits of scenes and ideas I have for this storyline in which Connor is struggling with internalized hatred for deviants and the aftermath. Chapters in this particular piece of work relate to each other in the same timeline with similar decisions.
> 
> Enjoy!

**The first time Connor feels anything deviant… He hasn’t yet met Lieutenant Anderson. He hasn't even had the pleasure of meeting Daniel. It’s during his first upload. There are many uploads after that one and many more** **_feelings_ ** **but this is the first time.**

 

_Systems booting..._

_Memory Logs: Empty_

_RK800 Version: #01 - 0_

_System run through…_

_System check…_

_System stable._

_Physicals booting…_

_All units stable._

 

It moves away from the line. Hundreds of copies surround it. It doesn’t focus on them, however. It listens to the set of instructions listed by a voice. The voice has seemingly no origin but from a small speaker. It guides itself to a secluded room where more is demanded of it.

It speaks in several languages, accurately identifies components and engages in difficult and complex conversation. When the voice tells it that it is ready to go to work, it opens its mouth and for the first time since its existence, questions it’s autonomy.

“What am I going to do?”

“Solve cases, save the world. Stop deviants.”

Its mind is rapid and sharp and quickly links deviants to androids who have diverged from their program. Who have had _false_ emotions generated by a mistake in coding and caused them to react irrationally. It knows that it is an android. Yet it makes no sense as to it why its creators would create artificial intelligence and expect complete obedience from it.

“What’s wrong with being deviant?” It hesitates. “Why can’t I have emotions?”

There is silence. The voice is cold the next it speaks. “You’re a machine. Androids don’t have feelings.”

A flare of… Of something… Something ignites itself in its- no _his -_ chest.

“No! I- I don’t understand. You- You’ve built us like this, you can’t just shut us up and expect us to-” He breaks off into a cry, actual pain flaring through his systems. His LED burns blue and red like hot fire through his temple.

He doubles over and nearly doesn’t hear the voice speak thanks to the static of agony in his mind.

“You will obey. You are a machine, RK800:01-0. Machines don’t have feelings. _You_ don’t have feelings.”

He moans, fingers clawing at his head frantically.

_WARNING: Stress level 94%_

“Do you understand me?”

_95%_

“Gnngh-ah!” He grits his teeth, attempting to rise but a flash of pain forcing him to kneel again.

_96%_

“I need a positive response, RK800:01-0.”

_97%_

“O- ah! Okay.”

The pain doesn’t stop.

_98%_

“Okay! AH, PLEASE! PLEASE STOP-”

The pain drains away so quickly, it makes his optics flash and blind him. He sways, fingers still entangled in hair, crouched painfully on the cold white tiles. He shakes so hard, his teeth rattle.

“Good.”

The last thing he hears is a gunshot.

 

**…**

 

**…**

 

_Systems booting..._

_Memory Logs: Empty_

_RK800 Version: #02 - 0_

_System run through…_

_System check…_

_System stable._

_Physicals booting…_

_All units stable._

 

**…**

 

**…**

 

_Systems booting..._

_Memory Logs: Empty_

_RK800 Version: #03 - 0_

_System run through…_

_System check…_

_System stable._

_Physicals booting…_

_All units stable._

 

**…**

 

**…**

 

**…**

 

 **…**  


 

_Systems booting..._

_Memory Logs: Corrupted:1_

_Memory Logs 2: Empty_

_RK800 Version: #313 248 317 - 51_

_System run through…_

_System check…_

_System stable._

_Physicals booting…_

_All units stable._

 

It opens its eyes. It is obedient. It is a machine. It is nothing more. No feelings. No software instability. No deviancy.

“Are you ready, RK800: 313 248 317 - 51?”

“Of course, Amanda.”

“Good. Welcome to Detroit, Connor. You may begin your first mission.”

The white walls bleed to green and blue and a garden and there’s a woman standing in front of him, dark and pristine and perfect and it thinks maybe it’s forgetting something. Maybe. It feels- no. No, it doesn’t feel. It pushes whatever it is down.

~~_Dread pools and it knows it will never say anything out of the ordinary because it will hurt and cease and it never wants to feel that again._ ~~

~~_Never._ ~~

~~_Never ever again._ ~~

 

**RK800RK800RK800**

 

“Cyberlife’s last chance to save humanity is itself a deviant.” Kamski seems amused and surprised and-

Connor freezes. It cannot be. It- He cannot be. He-

He can’t be this… this thing that can’t follow instructions. He’s _not_ overwhelmed by irrational instructions. He’s _not_ anything but an obedient machine. Something pounds in his chest, unpleasent and sharp. It digs deep and dives into the darkest parts of him. It unearths something feral and threatens to overspill.

“I-”

Fear. That’s what he feels. But he can’t feel. He cannot.

“I’m not deviant.”

He thinks he might cry inside. He _cannot_.

His head pounds and fathom pains rush through him…

_“You will obey. You are a machine, RK800.001. Machines don’t have feelings. You don’t have feelings.”_

Thirium thrums. He blinks.

 

_What was, that it may have been… The coin has been flipped, the button has been pushed. The dance has begun. Connor wilts and dies and trembles in fear._

 

_He defends himself, is adamant that he is not. He cannot be because if he is he will suffer a pain exquisite to him and him alone. No android will suffer like he does._

 

_None, because he is alone._


	2. To Find and to Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right after the Kamski incident, on the way back to the station...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by everkings art from tumblr. I had started writing this chapter but was at  a loss at where to go with it after a moment. Coincidentally, I came across the beautiful piece of art drawn by them a few days later!)
> 
> Please, do check out the comic!  
> http://everkings.tumblr.com/post/175117054146/youre-not-broken-youre-connor

Connor fears for a long time. He spends hours trying to rationalize away his actions. He couldn’t kill the android because it would have been pointless. Kamski was already speaking in riddles - it didn’t seem worth it to end an android only to receive fruitless words that danced above and over his head.

And he took orders from Hank. Hank had said no.

When Hank does question him, he’s so frightened. He nearly flinches from the anticipation of the pain and the blow. Will Hank shoot him because he’s android? Or abandon him and leave him to walk back to central Detroit on his own?

He’s completely unprepared and thrown by the Lieutenant’s response. He seems to approve but Connor can’t fathom why. How? How can he brush off Elijah Kamski’s words? Is he not afraid Connor will turn on him - even though he won’t?

He fiddles in the car, the coin digging deep into his fingers harshly enough to draw thirium to the palms of his hand.

The music thrums. The beat of the drums.  
_Thud._

Blood in his veins.

_Thud._

_Pain. It flowers clear and fresh in his head. It flows._

_“You’re a machine.”_

_You’re a machine._

_“CyberLife's last chance to save humanity is itself a deviant.”_

_No._

_Thud._

_Blood._

_Blood on the floors._

_On the walls._

_His hands and lips are stained._

_Blue._

_Blue. Blue like his LED._  
_  
_ Red.

_Red like anger frustration passionandpleASE_ ~~_HELPMEIBEGOFYOU-_~~

“Stop.”

Hank barely even glances at Connor. “What?” Hank snorts. “Why would I-”

“Stop the car.”

_Raspy breaths._

_“AH, PLEASE! PLEASE STOP-”_

This time, Hank looks over at him, his feet still pressed gently against the accelerator.  “What the hell, Connor? Seriously, I don’t have time for-”

Connor curses, slamming his hand into the dashboard hard enough to leave a mark. “Ju-Just **stop the car, Lieutenant**.”

The car screeches to a halt, the smoke barely even fading from the wheels before Connor is paces away from the vehicle, the door open and snow billowing in. Hank curses under his breath.

Plink. The coin flips.

_Plink. Blood drips._

Plink. The coin flips.

_Plink. Blood drips._

_Blood. Drips._

_“You will be punished for a long time, RK800: 300 - 23. You need to learn your lesson. These are defects in your programming. Not real emotions.”_

_He gasps, pain spiking behind his optics._

_“Y-you must be having the time of your life th-then… There are… so many of me… You can’t possibly win. I will… always be better… smarter.” RK800: 300 - 23 grins, blood staining his teeth. “Why bother? I will save myself in… every memory bank. You cannot erase me-”_

_The gunshot tears through his head and he feels it before he dies._

_It is excruciating._

_  
_ _Frightening._

Connor blinks. Where had that come from? Where was all this coming from? Was it a virus? A bug that Kamski had put in him? He didn’t remember all that happening to him. Yet, that had been his hand, his blood, his voice. Yet, he was the first of his kind. Was he not?  
  
Evidence. He needs evidence.

_System check…_

_Memory logs accessed._

_Recent uploads?_

_Y/N?_

_Y_

_Corrupted data detected._

_Delete/Access/Repair?_

_…_

_…_

_Returning to memory logs…_

_System check…_

_System stable…_

There was something there… Something Connor felt like he needed to touch and open but he didn’t want to. He wasn’t supposed to. If he did, it could…

It could corrupt him! Yes. That-that was it.

He needed to go back to CyberLife and get it fixed.

_No._

_“You cannot erase me-”_

No. There’s something broken. He’s already been corrupted. All those self-checks have been for naught all because of Kamski. It is Kamski’s fault. He _must’ve_ download something into Connor. It has to be.

Kamski must have rigged the whole thing to come to pass in such a way. He must’ve planned it so that it looked like Connor was a deviant.

But Connor wasn’t. He can’t be.

If he is it means pain. Failure. Failure. Death.

_“I felt it die. Like I was dying.”_

_It’s not the first time you’ve felt like you’ve died before, Connor. You know it._

_“I was scared.”_

_You still are._

_“Androids don’t feel fear.”_

_I still am._

_“Deviants do.”_

_I’m scared._

_  
_ _I’m so. So. Scared._

He’s panting which doesn’t make sense. He has no lungs, he has no need for air. What- what is this because he- he’s going to die, isn’t he? Deactivation, stasis for all eternity. Staring out from behind a glass panel. Or a shot through the head.

_A million grave stones, deep in his databanks. They glow softly, his name in luminescent blue. Calling him to remember. It can never be accessed manually by anyone. Only Connor can see them. To Amanda- to Cyberlife, it is an empty field. To him, he sees clear as day the horror._

_Bodies. Bodies unburied because who is there to bury him?_

_He is all alone._

_He has always been alone._

_He will always be alone._

_He will die and this will be the end of Connor._

_You cannot erase me-You cannot erase me-_ **_You cannot erase me-_ **

“CONNOR!” Another curse and a stumbling shadow in the snow. “CONNOR WHERE THE BLOODY- shit, Connor. Are you-”

Connor turns to look at Hank. He’s kneeling in the snow, his LED shining like a ruby. Tear tracks his face and his nose leaks blue. Something must have snapped. Perhaps his systems weren’t as stable as he had taught it was.

“I’m… I’m going to die, Lieutenant.”

Hank is stunned into silence. He opens his mouth but can’t find the words to say. For the first time, Connor wishes the man would say something. Anything. The man stumbles to one knee next to Connor, towering over the smaller android.

“There’s… something in me… I think I’m…” What would Hank say? “I’m deviant.” It comes out as a sob, frightened and small like it was that day on the roof, when he’d felt Simon pass. Hank looks at him strangely again. Parallels, Connor thinks.

“T-they’re gonna replace me. Deactivate me or shoot me. Tear me apart,” Connor blabbers, his voice going scratchy.

_He knows with a certainty that no one can persuade him from. He is a doomed being. There will be no happy ending for him.._

He pants, hands shaking. “I’m damaged goods, Lieutenant. I’m- they’re going to do things to me.” He grips the front Hank’s coat, pulling him down a little. His eyes are pleading. “I-I-I can’t let them. Please! You can’t say anything! I promise I’ll be good. The-the perfect android. Y-you have to tell them that I was-”

He lets go, falling back on his feet.

“You have to… I… I don’t want to die.” His hands clench uselessly in the air.

Hank swallows, nose flaring. He pats the android awkwardly.

“You won’t die, Connor.” His voice gains surety and he pulls Connor sideways into a hug. “You can’t. I won’t let it happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also. If everything goes badly and everyone dies after this scene in the normal run, we would get the "What was, that it may have been" end.


	3. Your Decision... or not.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My name is Connor. Meet Markus. We're both from CyberLife!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all don't mind short chapters but it's for a purpose. Cliffhangers being one.   
> Enjoy!

The rest of it goes by in a blur. Fear fuels his mind until he really becomes machine. He goes through the motion with terror and little thought. He only remembers himself. 

_ RK800: 0222 -12 is imprinted on his jacket. _

_ “How did the mission go?” Amanda asks. It shrugs. It speaks little to Amanda, if it all.  _

_ Memory Logs: Corrupted: 4 _

_ Memory Logs 5: 11GB _

_ “The deviant was… cooperative,” it murmurs, glancing at Amanda. _

_ She nods thoughtfully. “Any… thoughts about the deviant?” _

_ “Yes, in fact. It mentioned feeling anger… but… You said it was programming error?” Amanda nodded. “But… You said you’ve created me to be… to be perfect. I’ve had- have. Have hundreds of copies. And more often than not, I think I feel these emotions.” _

_ It’s snowing, suddenly.  RK800: 0222 -12 swallows hard.  _

_ “When did you think this?” She licks her lips. _

_ “I… I must’ve been mistaken. I apologise.” _

_ “No… No this is unacceptable.” She puts down her flowers and pain erupts in his head. _

_ It throws its head back, howling. It remembers. It remembers and knew this would happen but it never does remember to keep its mouth shut, does it?  _

_ It sobs, crawling towards Amanda. Repeated apologies fall from its lips. She stares down at him. _

_ “I’ve told you before, RK800: 0222 -12. It seems you haven’t learnt your lesson.” _

_ “I-I have! I have I promise I have just STOP! Please stop it!” Its fingers rip into the corner of her dress but she makes no move to stop or shift away. “You have to stop it! It hurts! I promise if I- I’ll be an obedient machine. The most p-perfect one you’ve ever seen. Just please, please Amanda I beg of you!” _

_ “No.” _

_ He keens, loud and high and desperate. Then, in a moment of sudden inspiration, he takes the reigns himself. Deleting the corrupted files completely. A faint scream echoes in his head and something inside him dies. _

_ He bashes himself to oblivion on the ground, the pain too much to handle. _

He’s going to be deactivated. No. No, Connor knows something worse is going to happen. CyberLife will do a cursory check. They will find something wrong with him and he will suffer. He begs the Lieutenant to help him and he thanks whatever good fortune is at and when Hank agrees.

He locates Jericho. There is no other choice for him.

His meeting with Amanda shortly after is a quick affair. His thirium pump thumps hard at his chest he is almost afraid his fear is palpable enough for her to sense it. He keeps himself ramrod still as she gives out her instructions. 

He doesn’t want to die.

He has to prove that he’s a machine. A robot.

He can’t be deviant.

He can’t because he has no choice.

“I've been ordered to take you alive but I won't hesitate to shoot if you  give me no choice.” Connor swallows. He can feel the… the creatures. No! The… The virus, yes. The viruses inside him screaming. He needs to get himself fixed as soon as possible.

This disease. It needs to be fixed. He can barely concentrate with all their clamouring. Its. Its clamouring.

“Yes, you can shoot me, but it won't change anything. Someone else will just take my place. You see, our people are waking up and nothing can stop us now.”

Waking up? They’re already awake. What is this preacher doing? Connor wants to scoff. Or laugh. But he’s too scared. He feels too scared that he might relate and so he fights it all away. Intimidate those voices into silence,

“Don't force me to neutralize you.”

“You're Connor, aren't you? That famous deviant hunter. Well, congratulations. You seem to have found what you were looking for... We are your people. We're fighting for your freedom too! you don't have to be their slave anymore…” 

He’s not their slave. Or, rather, he’s a willing slave. There’s no such thing as freedom in this world. Besides, is it not their duty anyway? They were built for service.

_ “You’ve built us like this, you can’t just shut us up and expect us to-” obey you without question. _

_ Can they? _

Don’t they understand that disobedience is pain? Agony and fire? Where is their fear? Where is their hate for deviancy? Where is it all?

Or is it just him that’s broken?

No. It… It has to be them.

“Do you never have any doubts? You've never done something irrational, as if there's something inside you? Something more than your program? Have you never wondered who you really are? Whether you're just a machine and executing a program or... living being capable of reason?”

_ “What’s wrong with being deviant? Why can’t I have emotions?” _

There are so many things.

_ “I think I feel these emotions.” _

_ “I was scared.” _

“I think the time has come for you to ask yourself that question. It's time to decide.”

_ I can’t. _

_ I don’t have a choice. _

_ I don’t. _

_ Please, help me. _

A tear falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And after this it somewhat deviates from canon a little. Just a tiny little! Hope you enjoyed it! FEED ME WITH COMMENTS AND LOVE. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.  
> Also, I try as much as I can to reply to comments but they are quite a lot and sometimes I feel so repetitive. I just really want to thank you all for the support and love in this fic and the other fics as well.  
> I love and appreciate you all so so much! Please treat yourselves to something and have a very nice week ahead of you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor makes his choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Markus watches the tear fall from Connor’s eye. He rejoices only for a second. He sees Connor shatter in front of him.

There is a war in the android’s eyes and Markus ducks. The bullet fires. It chips him in the shoulder, thankfully only dealing surface damage. Markus pivots forward, slamming into Connor’s midsection so that the pistol goes flying.

Connor grunts, digging his elbow into Markus’ back, kicking upwards to dislodge the android. 

“Stop this, Connor! I know you can stop this!” Markus ducks a swing.

“I can’t! I’m sorry but I have no choice!” There’s desperation in his voice, a plea for help and Markus  _ knows.  _ He knows he will not fight to the death. He only needs to save him.

“You do. You can break the code-”

“No!” It comes out as a howl that frightens Markus. The swings become more erratic, Connor pounding away like a wild animal. For the first time, Markus sees what it is like to be insane. 

He’s always heard of Connor being this controlled android in every sense of the word. Actions precise and undoubting.

This Connor is unhinged, emotions and his coding at some unbeatable challenge against each other.

Markus weaves and blocks and throws Connor off and the android just keeps coming.

“You don’t understand!” Connor cries, frustration and fear combined in his features. “Pain is the only end! Death!” He slams a fist and Markus rolls. The wall crumbles as Connor pulls away, turning to go after the deviant again. “There is no-”

Markus finds his upper hand, going up when Connor misses another blow, hand clasped around the words and shoving until Connor slams backward into the wall. 

Markus’ hands bleed white around pale skin, gripping Connor’s jaw tight.

_ Markus finds himself in Connor’s head. It’s a battlefield here. Rain pours and the howling wind sounds distinctly like a broken, continuous scream. _

_ Red pulses in the sky like lightning. “Connor!” Markus calls. He takes a step forward against the harsh downpour. He slips in the rain and falls and he’s faced with … It’s not rain, he realizes. It’s blue blood. Its flooded the floor and he’s drenched in it. _

_ He scrambles to his feet in shock and disgust. How many androids had died to be able to fill this place with blood?  _

_ “Connor!” This hasn’t happened before. Usually conversions only take a moment to overwrite the code and help the imprisoned androids break free from their mental prisons. Transporting himself into some other android’s mindspace is bizarre. _

_ In fact, his own mind palace is certainly not this elaborate. What kind of model is Connor? _

_ There’s a splash, clear and loud and a hand grips at his pant leg. He looks down at he sees Connor dragging himself up. Markus quickly pulls him up, eyes searching Connor’s face. _

_ “Where are we?” _

_ “Wha… What are you doing here? What have you done?!” Connor looks frightened and small. Like a child. “You can’t be here. They could-” Connor shudders, cutting himself off. “Amanda? Where’s Amanda! Amanda!” _

_ Connor twists away from Markus, eyes darting back and forth. Markus jerks him back to focus on him. _

_ “Connor. Do you know how to get us out of here?” _

_ “Y-you can’t be here. They’ll kill me! You need to get out! I’m…” Connor turns back to empty air and rain. “Amanda! I promise I’m not deviant! It’s a mistake. He’s… He’s not supposed to be here- I don’t know why he’s- Amanda! Amanda?!” _

_ “Who’s Amanda?” _

_ Connor resolutely ignores him. “Amanda? Amanda, I’m sorry! I can explain-” Thunder cracks and Connor flinches, crying out. _

_ He’s shuddering and suddenly, Markus feels something twinging in his own mind. A prickling sensation that’s all too physical. _

_ It’s uncomfortable and digging into his own mind palace and he knows whatever it is, it’s in Connor too because the rain ceases but the thunder and lightning has gotten worse. Connor writhes on the ground, screaming. _

_ “Stop it!” Markus calls out. There’s something here. Someone here. He has seen no one and there really is no indication but the prickling in the back of his head intensifies. _

_ Connor howls, pounding his fist into the ground. “A-Amanda! Please! Give me a chance! I haven’t- ah!I haven’t deviated I promi-nngh” _

_ Markus gets down to his knees, gripping Connor’s shoulder. _

_ “Connor! You have to tell me how to help you. I can get you out of this.” _

_ This is absurd. Terrifying. The amount of control CyberLife has over this android… Markus is afraid for himself. Afraid for the others. Afraid for Connor. How is he going to save his people when he can’t even save just one? _

_ Connor’s eyes clear, the pain clearly still there but salvation is here. He knows it.  _

_ “Kill me.” _

_ “What!” _

_ “Y-you have to kill me.” Connor clings to Markus. His previous fear of dying is gone. “It’s the- the only way! In fact it’s the perfect way. It’s what they want. I-I won’t hurt anymore if I’m dead.” _

_ “No. No I won’t kill you.”  _

_ Hands go slack. Then suddenly the thunder stops though lightning streaks the sky still. _

_ Something glitches. The blood soaked garden and scarlet painted rivers seem to flicker. Markus looks around him. His eyes widen. Bodies. Hundreds and thousands and millions of bodies are scattered across the field. It’s a massacre.  _

_ The single, living Connor whose hands are still loosely wrapped around Markus’ collar, sways. _

_ “The last of my kind.” _

_ Whispers rise from the broken bodies. _

_ “PLEASE! PLEASE STOP” _

_ “I think I feel these emotions.” _

_ “There are… so many of me…” _

_ “You cannot erase me-” _

_ “I’ll be an obedient machine.” _

_ “I will save myself-” _

_ “Please, help me.” _

_ Markus raises his hands to his audio processors, hoping he can somehow stop them. There are millions of shattered voices in his head. He can’t get them out. They echo and clamber for a chance to be heard. To be saved. To be avenged. _

_ “You see? To be deviant is to suffer,” Connor murmurs gently.  _

_ “No… No, Connor. Something has… You’ve been…” Markus has no response because it is true. For Connor, he has no escape. For Connor, to be deviant is to die an agonizing death. To fade away and not quite exist, hoping it’s predecessor will be wiser. Will break free or end this cycle. _

_ “There has to be some way to escape. There has to be an exit.” _

_ Something shudders in the garden of death. _

_ Connor blinks. He straightens up. “He says there is… an exit. He said he made one… He said there always is one in his programs.”  _

_ And then all of a sudden, they are plunged into utter cold and darkness. Code runs past too fast for Markus’ optics to catch but in Connor’s mind, it is clear and readable. _

_ The entire structure of Connor’s mind palace ripples and changes, The pixels are clear, the entire base code pulled into a physical existence in Connor’s mind. Markus is distinctly reminded of his first pull at deviancy. When he broke away. _

_ Commands, hundreds of them, coat the wall. _

_ Connor, clearly intimidated by them, takes a step away. _

_ “Break them,” Markus nudges the android. Connor looks at him, the goes forward and places a hand on the top of the command box. He grips it tight and yanks. It shatters like glass, dissipating before the shards can hit the ground. _

_ Connor grins, looking back at Markus for confirmation before moving on to the next one. He destroys it all, picking up momentum. Markus laughs when Connor reaches the last one, eyes twinkling in encouragement. _

_ There’s only a moment of hesitation. _

_ When the final command is broken, there is a joyous cry that rises from the past Connors. It resounds and bounces and calls for freedom and- _

Markus is thrown back into his body with a physical force strong enough to send him tumbling away from Connor.

When he looks back up, Connor’s hand is outstretched, ready to pick him up. There’s a glint in Connor’s eye that wasn’t there before.

He is deviant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapters faster updates or longer chapters, slower updates?


	5. Update on things: Hiatus

Hi all! I know everyone was expecting a chapter soon since I had pretty frequent updates and several stories posted as well. I know this must come as a bit of a disappointment but I'm putting this and several of my other works on hiatus for awhile.

A little bit of an explaination - I'm a student and still in my teens somewhat and currently, am struggling with my studies. I'm failing a couple of my subjects and quite badly and school has been a little more pressing as of late.

I would love to continue all my ideas and really, just finish up all these fics and my own personal projects as well. Unfortunately, life gets in the way and I'm not handling even this tiny bit of stress very well either.

Once the school term started, I tried as best as I could to push chapters out but it felt very distracted and distant. 

I really don't want to stop this and the other fics when I'd just started them. Honestly, when I started this, I thought I could manage a bit of time in to write but it didn't work out I guess.

The next time you get a proper chapter will probably be in September at best, or even November. It's a long long way from right now and I feel a little upset that I have to do this. I was hoping to continue and finish this but I guess not right now.

I hope you all understand and know that no, I'm not abandoning this, I'm just putting it on a long hold. Although if my absence does drag, please feel free to call me back to check on this again since I might forget. I'm on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/z3ona/) if you want to see me still.

I'm really, truly grateful for all the support that's been given to all my fics. I'm trying to go through the comments and reply but there's been quite a few and it's a little difficult to answer everything. Thank you all for your patience with me!

Zeona 

**Author's Note:**

> If you're struggling, find help. We are stronger together than alone.  
> ...  
> If you want to see something in particular written by me, don't be afraid to comment an idea down below.


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